问题并不在于我获得的育儿福利——公司有很好的政策。问题在于政策与实际的文化脱节。我自己也是个坏榜样：表明公司第一，育儿第二。儿子出生的那天，我参加了电话会议，无意间向办公室里其他有孩子的人传达了这样的信息：如果不像我一样，他们可能会受到责难。我让他们觉得，如果专心育儿，就会在职业发展中被边缘化，被认为没有那么投入工作。

Dad-unfriendly work cultures fester in other insidious ways. Male leaders and managers will often hide their parenting responsibilities from their teams or not take advantage of flexible work arrangements available to them to project the “ideal worker” image. Other working dads are pressured to follow that behavior. Care.com conducted a survey during the summer of the 2020 Covid-19 pandemic that found that 51% of working dads sometimes hide their child care concerns because they worry their employer or colleagues won’t understand.

对父亲不友好的职场文化，会以其他隐晦的方式恶化。男性领导者和管理者会经常向团队隐瞒自己的育儿责任，或者有可用的灵活工作制度也不用，以打造“理想员工”的形象。其他职场爸爸迫于压力，不得不这样做。Care.com网站在2020年夏天新冠病毒流行的时候开展了一项问卷调查，发现51%的职场爸爸会隐瞒自己在育儿方面的问题，因为担心雇主或同事不理解。

These behaviors perpetuate unhealthy and, frankly, unrealistic expectations for working dads — and breed a culture that’s shrouded in lies and built on burnout.

What happens when company culture supports working dads? A dad-friendly culture has a halo effect that benefits working mothers, too — and the positive effects reverberate throughout the organization.

假如企业文化支持职场爸爸会如何？对职场爸爸友好的企业文化会产生光环效应，对职场妈妈也有好处，积极影响惠及整个组织。

Historically, the false assumption has been that men don’t need to worry about child care — that’s what moms are for. So, when men enter senior leadership positions, they often fail to make caregiving a priority inside their organization because balancing parenting and work hasn’t been an issue for their careers.

一直以来的错误预设是，男性不必为育儿担心——那是妈妈的事。因此男性走上高层领导职位后，往往不会在组织内将育儿作为重点，因为自己的职业发展中并没有遇到平衡育儿和工作的问题。

It’s certainly been a huge issue for women’s careers, though. This has been confirmed by numerous studies, including the 2020 Women in the Workplace Report by LeanIn.org and McKinsey & Company, which surveyed more than 300 companies and more than 40,000 employees from the entry level to the C-suite. Not only are mothers doing more work at home than fathers, but they are also more than twice as likely as fathers to worry that they’re being judged more harshly at work because of their caregiving obligations at home. They’re also far less comfortable than fathers at sharing their work-life challenges with colleagues or even the fact that they are parents at all.

The Covid-19 pandemic amplified this reality and made things worse. With child care centers closed and schools going virtual or hybrid, women have taken on even more child care work at home. And they’re dropping out of the workforce as a result, particularly those in senior leadership and Black women. This is erasing decades of progress towards gender equality. As of September 2020, the percentage of women participating in the U.S. workforce dropped to 55.6%, down from a peak of 60.3% in April 2000.

新冠流行放大了这样的现实，让情况更加糟糕。托儿所关闭，学校转为线上或混合授课，女性在家承担了更多的育儿工作，因此失去工作，特别是担任高管的女性和黑人女性。这种状况抹消了数十年性别平等的进展。截至2020年9月，美国参加工作的女性比例下降到55.6%，2000年4月最高时为60.3%。

The only way to achieve gender equality at work is to embolden male employees and give them the support they need at work so they can be more involved at home — while allowing their partners to work, too.

Business leaders who don’t support working fathers risk losing them to companies that do. Nearly 70% of working dads say they would change jobs to spend more time with their kids, according to a 2018 study by Promundo and Dove Men + Care.

不支持职场父亲的企业领导者，可能会失去这部分员工，促使他们转投提供支持的其他雇主。2018年Promundo和Dove Men + Care的一项研究表明，近70%的职场爸爸表示愿意为了多陪孩子换工作。

Retaining talented parents starts by understanding, talking, and listening to them. Get their feedback through surveys to uncover their struggles. Use employee resource groups to have open, honest communication. Consider joining one yourself and participate on equal footing.

Working parents also need to feel encouraged to face their fears and have honest conversations with management, however uncomfortable, about what they need. In these conversations, you may discover that one-size-fits-all parental benefits aren’t always helpful and that parents need more tailored options.

职场父母也需要获得鼓励，面对自己的担忧，还要克服不安与管理层坦诚交流，说出自己的需求。在交流中，领导者可能会发现通用的育儿福利有时作用不大，职场父母需要更加适合自己具体情况的选项。

Research has shown that successful leaders adopt a growth and learning mindset, both for themselves and for the business. Adopt this same thinking about your working parent workforce. Care about them as much as you do your next product launch or your quarterly earnings.

研究表明，成功的领导者具备成长与学习的思维方式，对于自己和公司都是如此。对待员工团队中的职场父母也要采取这种思维方式。要像关心下一次产品发布或季度财报一样关心他们。

Before I accepted my role as CEO of Care.com, I committed to a new work-life philosophy: I was a dad first, and to be a great leader, I needed to bring my authentic self to work. I made it clear to my new leadership team and employees that I expected them to adopt the same philosophy. The mission of Care.com is to help families balance their lives and work while caring for all they love. We couldn’t as a company deliver on that mission if we didn’t embody it ourselves.

接受Care.com的CEO职位之前，我建立了新的工作生活哲学：我首先是一位父亲，为了当好领导者，我必须在工作中表露真实的自我。我对新的领导团队和员工表明，我希望他们接受这套观念。Care.com的使命是帮助有家庭的人平衡生活与工作，照顾好自己爱的每一个人。作为一家公司，假如我们自己做不到这一点，就无法履行这个使命。

As CEO, it started with me, but it takes leaders and managers throughout any organization to set the right example for our employees. We must be cognizant of the attitudes and behaviors that compound to create a stressful culture for working parents. During my week of leave, I’d often get asked by colleagues to have a quick call …“just 5 minutes.” I felt the obligation to say yes — and, of course, that call turned into several “quick” 5-minute calls. If leaders and managers don’t draw boundaries, then nobody else in the company will, either.

我是CEO，要率先以身作则。组织上下的领导者和管理者都要为员工作榜样。我们必须明白是怎样的态度和行为造成了对职场父母苛刻的企业文化。我休假时总有同事要给我打电话，“就五分钟。”我感到自己有义务答应——而后就会接到很多个所谓五分钟的电话。如果领导者和管理者不划清界限，那么组织里的其他人就更不可能了。

So, as a leader, be vulnerable, honest, and empathetic about your life as a parent. Encourage other dads in the company to do the same. Ensure that all the parents at your organization have access to great benefits like paid leave, backup care, and flexible work schedules. And, make sure you use them so that they do, too.

因此，作为领导者，要坦陈自己的脆弱，重视和感受自己为人父母的责任。鼓励公司里的其他父亲也这样做。确保自己公司里有孩子的员工都能获得充分的福利，如带薪休假、育儿后备方案和灵活工作时间等。还有，领导者自己要积极使用这些福利，其他员工才会用。

A few weeks ago, I was on a Zoom call with my team and was surprised to see a senior manager who I knew was supposed to be on his family vacation. Instinctively, I told him, “I really appreciate your commitment, but you’re not supposed to be working right now. I’ll catch up with you when you’re back from spending time with your family.” With his kids visible in the background, he got the message and quickly hung up.

I wasn’t just talking to him. I was talking to everyone on that call, including myself.

我不只是在对他一个人说话。我是对参会的所有人说的，包括我自己在内。